The trouble with death and the problems it causes

The rising cost of dying

Funerals in New Zealand aren’t cheap. By the time you add up the service, the venue, the casket, flowers, cremation or burial fees, and all the “little extras,” families can easily find themselves facing $8,000–$15,000 or more. Most of these decisions are made within the first 24–48 hours after losing someone—when grief is raw, brains are foggy, and spending feels strangely disconnected from reality.

It’s one of the few times in life where people routinely say “yes” to everything simply because saying “I’m not sure” feels impossible.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Planning ahead, even just a little, gives families clarity and confidence—and stops them from making assumptions you never intended.

Death Without Debt is a New Zealand-based voluntary campaign and community organisation focused on making the cost of dying — especially funeral and after-death expenses — fair, affordable, and transparent for everyday people. It’s not a government body or commercial funeral company, but a grassroots movement run by volunteers that educates, advocates and empowers families and communities.  

These awesome people are working hard to raise awareness about why funeral costs in New Zealand have become so high and provide workshops and education on "DIY funerals" and practical steps families can take to organise affordable and dignified farewells.  For those interested in learning more about funerals that don't break the bank, check out https://www.deathwithoutdebt.org.nz/.

The thousand tiny decisions nobody mentions

Casket or cremation? Celebration of life or quiet service? Burial plot or scattering? What clothes should you wear? Who should speak? Should there be music? If so, what kind?

It’s amazing how much needs to be decided so quickly.
And when nothing is written down, families guess. Sometimes they guess well, sometimes they argue, and sometimes they spend more than you would’ve wanted because it feels like the “right” thing to do in the moment.

Leaving your wishes written down removes that heavy burden. Instead of scrambling to figure out what you “might have wanted,” your family simply follows your plan. It’s an act of love disguised as paperwork.  Leaving your family with a completed Wishes Book is just as important as leaving them your will.

The environmental impact we don’t talk about

Traditional funerals can have a surprisingly large environmental footprint. Conventional burials often include chemically treated caskets, embalming fluids, imported headstones, and resource-heavy cemetery space. Even cremation still creates carbon emissions.

More and more New Zealanders are starting to explore gentler, greener alternatives—options like natural burials, where bodies return to the earth naturally without chemicals, in biodegradable coffins or shrouds, creating living, regenerating bushland instead of traditional plots.

Water cremation (also known as alkaline hydrolysis) has also just entered the NZ funeral market.  This option uses far less energy than flame cremation and produces minimal emissions.  Bell, Lamb and Trotter in Christchurch introduced water cremation into NZ in 2025 and more information can be found here: https://belllambtrotter.co.nz/water/

For those thinking that water cremation and natural burials are "fringe ideas", think again!  They’re practical, beautiful, and environmentally responsible choices that are definitely becoming more popular!

Why writing down your Wishes matters

The trouble with death isn’t death itself.  It’s the administrative chaos it leaves behind. Clear instructions transform a stressful, emotional time into one guided by certainty. They reduce costs, simplify decisions, prevent arguments, and ensure your values—financial, emotional, and environmental—are honored.

That’s exactly why the Wishes Book exists: to help you capture the things that matter long before anyone needs to make use of them.

It’s not morbid.
It’s not dramatic.
It’s simply the gift of clarity when your family needs it most.

A little planning goes a long way

You can’t control death.
But you can control the decisions, the costs, and the environmental impact that follow it.

Take a moment, write your wishes, and spare your loved ones the unnecessary trouble.
Your future self—and your family—will thank you.