Ozzy Osbourne's funeral wishes
No sadness, just gratitude (and maybe a little chaos)
In a 2011 interview with The Times, Ozzy said he didn’t want his funeral to be a sad affair. For him, the event should be more about saying thank you than mourning.
“That's why I don't want my funeral to be sad,” he explained. “There’ll be no harping on the bad times.” He acknowledged how lucky he'd been in life, despite the madness, and wanted his farewell to reflect that sense of gratitude.
He even joked that he didn’t care what was played at the service — suggesting a mash-up of Justin Bieber, Susan Boyle and The Diddymen would be fine if it made people smile. But he eventually settled on something more fitting: A Day in the Life by The Beatles.
A headstone worthy of a rock legend
Ozzy left more than just musical requests. In his 2009 autobiography I Am Ozzy, ghostwritten by Chris Ayres, he outlined a surprisingly detailed (and wildly humorous) blueprint for what he wanted when he was gone.
First of all: no cremation.
"I want to be put in the ground, in a nice garden somewhere, with a tree planted over my head," he wrote. "A crabapple tree, preferably, so the kids can make wine out of me and get p***ed out of their heads."
And as for the headstone?
"If I close my eyes, I can already see it:
Ozzy Osbourne, born 1948. Died, whenever.
He bit the head off a bat."
Even in death, Ozzy was going to make people laugh — or raise an eyebrow. Or both.
Death with a side of dark humour
Ozzy didn’t shy away from talking about death. In fact, he approached it the same way he approached life: head-on, with sarcasm and a shrug.
"If I end up brain-dead in a hospital somewhere, just pull the plug, please," he wrote. But he didn’t think it would come to that.
“Knowing me, I’ll go out in some stupid way. I’ll trip on the doorstep and break my neck. Or I’ll choke on a throat lozenge. Or a bird will s*** on me and give me some weird virus from another planet.”
His reflections even touched on the near-death experience he had in 2003, when a slow-moving quad bike nearly did what decades of heavy partying couldn’t.
“I’d been taking lethal combinations of booze and drugs for decades, but it was riding over a pothole in my back garden at two miles an hour that nearly killed me.”
It’s this mix of brutal honesty, rock star bravado, and absurd humor that made Ozzy so loved — and why his funeral, though planned with care, wasn’t about sorrow, but about celebrating a life truly lived.
Planning your own exit – Ozzy style?
Ozzy Osbourne's funeral wasn't just a spectacle; it was a masterclass in making your wishes known. He gave his family clarity, comfort, and even a few laughs — and that’s something any of us can do.
At Wishes, we believe everyone should take a page out of Ozzy’s book. Maybe not the crabapple wine part (unless that’s your thing), but definitely the part about being clear, honest, and true to yourself.
Don’t leave your loved ones guessing.
Start writing your own wishes today — so that when your final curtain call comes, it plays exactly how you want it to.